


all's well that ends

by space_trekkie



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everybody's Favorite Grumpy Vulcan Boyfriend, F/M, Gaila! Loves! Jello!, Interspecies Relationship(s), Romance, Slow Burn, Starfleet Academy, Vulcan Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:41:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_trekkie/pseuds/space_trekkie
Summary: “Do you ever wonder who they are?” Gaila asks, as she lounges against the grass of the quad. Her crimson hair is arranged in a tangled halo above her head. Nyota glances at her idly from her seated position. They’re out sunbathing on a lazy afternoon before class, surrounded by the gentle hum of cadets bustling about.Nyota drums her fingers against her uniformed thigh. “Who?”“Your soulmate, Ny.” Her roommate shifts upwards and props her weight on her hands. “You don’t wonder where they are? What they’re doing?”“I-” Nyota pauses and adjusts the pad splayed across her lap. “I guess I don’t really think about it.”“Well, you should.”
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Spock/Nyota Uhura
Comments: 19
Kudos: 115





	1. palikaya

“Do you ever wonder who they are?” Gaila asks, as she lounges against the grass of the quad. Her crimson hair is arranged in a tangled halo above her head. Nyota glances at her idly from her seated position. They’re out sunbathing on a lazy afternoon before class, surrounded by the gentle hum of cadets bustling about.

Nyota drums her fingers against her uniformed thigh. “Who?”

“Your soulmate, Ny.” Her roommate shifts upwards and props her weight on her hands. “You don’t wonder where they are? What they’re doing?”

“I-” Nyota pauses and adjusts the pad splayed across her lap. “I guess I don’t really think about it.”

“Well, you should.” Gaila sniffs. “It’s like the most exciting thing about humans, besides the teeth.”

“The teeth? Wait, nevermind, I don’t want to know.” Nyota clenches her palm into a fist and presses her lips into a tight line. “Thinking about it won’t change anything.”

“But it’s more fun for me.” Gaila gives her a wide grin, then flops over face down in the grass. Her green skin seems to almost sparkle in the sunlight. Nyota reaches out and flicks her in the leg. Gaila just giggles in response.

The whole concept of soulmates seems dreadfully unscientific, especially in the sleek, technological world they live in. It’s preposterous really, that something so personal is left down to fate.

They’ve done studies of course. What human society calls soulmates is nothing more than a chemical response. Just a couple of specialized hormones that can sense compatible genomes.

Nyota doesn’t like the fact such a small part of her has the ability to so drastically change her life. A few measly molecules can completely alter her brain chemistry, causing an insatiable, utterly unavoidable, need to pairbond.

It is almost romantic on paper, she muses. The fact that there’s a person out there for everyone, waiting.

It doesn’t make the reality any easier.

Nyota is nearly twenty-five, with no hint of a soulmate to be found. Not that it bothers her. She’s gotten used to watching friends and colleagues pair up, a bewildered, yet fantastically happy look always plastered across their faces. She’s very comfortable watching from the sidelines, always waiting for her turn.

It’s honestly simpler this way. Nyota has her family to rely on, despite the thousands of miles between them. She has Gaila too of course, on days when she’s not bouncing around the junior officer bunks. Nyota is happy with her life. For the most part. Plus, the whole soulmate business is easier to ignore at the Academy, with so many non-humans around.

Nyota is broken out of her reverie at the sight of Jim Kirk frantically waving at them from across the quad. They all have Interstellar Navigation together in about twenty minutes.

“C’mon, time to get up.” Nyota stands, brushing the loose blades of grass off her skirt and prodding her roommate lightly with the side of her boot. The Orion wiggles a bit but doesn’t otherwise move. “Don’t make me drag you there.”

“You wouldn't make it, your arms are like noodles.”

Nyota nearly snorts. “I’m pretty sure it’s a guest lecture today. I know how much you like to make the com-sci professors sweat.”

Gaila jolts upright. “I’m up, I’m up!”

Nyota smiles and hoists her onto her feet with one hand. “Knew that would get you.”

“I hope it’s Iverson, he always gets so angry when I correct his math.” Gaila slings an arm over her shoulder and they start to walk side by side in Kirk’s direction.

***

Her schedule as a third-year cadet is rather simple. She goes to class, studies, then hits the gym if she has the time – which has become increasingly rare these days. Nights where Gaila drags her out to the bar have become even rarer. Her schedule has been tied up recently, largely due to one overwhelmingly time consuming course.

Commander Spock is a brilliant man, that much is obvious. He graduated with honors from the Academy only three years ago, yet he’s already completed multiple rotations on starships and is now a commissioned professor in two departments. There’s even a rumor going around campus that he’s in the running to be an officer on the new flagship, the _USS Enterprise_.

She can’t help but remember the Commander’s impressive resume as she sits in the front of his Advanced Morphology lectures every week. He has a quiet, direct way of speaking that Nyota thinks is typical of most Vulcans. His teaching style is just as polished. There’s always lots of pointed questions that leave unprepared cadets shaking in their boots.

Nyota never falters when his gaze settles on her. She’s one of his best students, she’s sure of it, but he doesn’t ever show a hint of favoritism. It would be nice to hear some words of encouragement every once in a while, but she’s learned to make do with the small, stilted nod of his head that he reserves for particularly good answers.

She likes to watch him, as he speaks. Something about the way he holds himself, the angle of his jaw maybe, or the stiff lines of his shoulder blades, appeals to her. Gaila likes to call it a crush, but she rejects that. Nyota just finds him fascinating, that’s all. Nothing untoward about that.

The next time she’s in his class, she has to fight the urge to look at his lips.

***

A few weeks later, Nyota’s world shifts in one shocking, gut wrenching instant.

“Commander, I just had a quick question about this week’s assignment, it won’t take more than a minute–” Nyota’s foot catches on the strap of a standard issue cadet bag haphazardly set on the ground and the pad in her hands goes flying. _Fuck._ “I’m so sorry, sir. Let me get that.”

The Commander is already starting to kneel as she stabs her hand out to grab the godforsaken pad. The tips of their fingers brush, ever so slightly, and it’s like an electric shock has just rocketed up her arm.

A warm, tingly sensation is left in its wake, which quickly gives way to an overpowering urge to reach forward, to grab his hand again. The need to touch him thuds through her mind, like a living breathing thing that she needs to forcibly subdue.

She can feel her hands start to shake and an intense spike of anxiety flows through her. She knows what just happened. It has to be. There’s no other rational explanation.

She tilts her head up to look at the Commander and finds a pair of dark, hardened eyes waiting for her. His hands are clenched into fists and his body remains deathly still from his position on the floor. They don’t move for what seems like minutes.

The rest of the class has filed out of the auditorium, except for a few curious onlookers peering at them from the highest rows of seats. The Commander’s eyes flick in their direction and he stands, back straight and knuckles white.

“Please excuse me, Cadet.”

With those four words, he’s gone. He bounds up the steps and out of the room in seconds, leaving Nyota shaken and confused on the floor. She stays like that for quite a while.

***

Nyota doesn’t tell anyone about the incident for days. How could she? She can’t imagine calling her mother and asking _‘Hey, sorry it’s late, but I think I just accidentally found my soulmate and it’s my very stoic, very Vulcan professor? Got any advice?’_

Gaila knows something is wrong almost instantly, because of course she does. Maybe she can smell it on her, Nyota wonders idly. She pushes that horrible thought into the back of her mind and tries to calm herself down.

She doesn’t want to be wrong, but nothing else makes sense. All her friends described the moment they met their soulmate differently, but one thing was clear – she would know it when it happened. It’s unmistakable, they would say. Life changing, even.

Nyota has had to fight the urge to sprint in the direction of the officer quarters multiple times since she touched his hand. It’s an instinct almost, an itch that she desperately needs to scratch. Gaila calls Jim Kirk after the third time she finds Nyota perched by the door of their dorm, fingers hovering a few inches from the keypad.

***

“...she’s broken.” Gaila pokes at Nyota with one sharp finger as she watches her from the side of the bed. Nyota has to resist the urge to rub at the skin of her arm.

“I am not.” Nyota squeezes her hand into a fist as another small tremor racks through her body. Kirk is leaning against the door of their dorm, a slight smirk gracing his lips.

Gails bounces on the bed, a high-pitched whine rising in her throat. “She’s broken, Jim.”

Kirk scuffs one of his black cadet boots on the ground and lets out a laugh. “She’s not broken, Gaila.”

“Thank you!” Nyota pokes at her roommate triumphantly. “See, nothing to worry about.”

“I wasn’t finished.” Kirk takes a step towards them and rocks back on his heels. The smirk on his face has only gotten bigger. “She’s much worse off than broken, she’s found her soulmate.”

The shrieking sound Gaila makes is definitely inhuman. “Oh my god, who is it? How could you not tell me!”

“I–” Nyota covers her face with her hands and takes a deep, calming breath. There’s no use in denying it at this point. “It’s nobody you know.”

Gaila squeals again and both Nyota and Kirk wince and cover their ears. “Well what do they look like? Are they in xenoling?”

“He’s...tall.” Nyota pauses. “And yes.”

Gails scooches to her side of the bed and latches her arm in a death grip. “I need more than that! When are you going to see him again?”

Nyota pauses again and Kirk takes advantage of the silence. “I’m surprised she isn’t tearing down his door right now. Me and Bones were joined at the hip for days afterwards.”

“Tomorrow.” Nyota rubs the knuckle of her index finger under her eyes and resists the urge to sigh loudly. “I’m going to see him tomorrow.”

“You need to talk about this with him, Uhura.” Kirk takes a few steps forward and claps her on the shoulder hesitantly. “I know it sucks, but you can’t just ignore it forever. It’s only going to get worse.”

Nyota nods and reaches up to pat his hand. “I understand. Thank you, Jim. Really.”

He just smiles at her, blue eyes uncharacteristically gentle. “You’re welcome. Now stop being stupid and go talk to him.”

Nyota turns her head to look out their tiny dorm window and tries to quell the rising tide of anxiety within her. “I will.”

***

Jim had followed Nyota around for weeks when he first got to the Academy trying to make her grab his hand. They finally disproved his theory when Gaila drank four Cardassian sunrises and they had to carry her back to their dorm. He’s a good friend to her now, despite his constant pestering.

Nyota’s hands shake as she walks through the doors to the Advanced Morphology classroom. She’s going to try to take Jim’s advice – to talk to the Commander about the absurd thing that just happened. The thing that will likely change the course of their lives forever.

Not to mention the fact that the Commander is Vulcan, which should make this whole event impossible. Literally impossible. He’s a different species, one which absolutely does not have soulmates.

Nyota stops dead in her tracks when her eyes reach the front of the auditorium. Commander Spock is nowhere to be found. Instead, Commander Viroha, an elderly Bolian professor in the xenolinguistics department, is frantically scribbling morphemes across the board.

Nyota traverses down the flights of steps as fast as her legs can carry her.

“Commander Viroha, sir. Is Commander Spock absent today?” She pauses as he turns around to face her. “I had an urgent matter I needed to discuss with him.”

His orange eyes are wide as he studies her face. Her frantic tone of voice must have startled him. “I’m sorry, Cadet. Commander Spock has relinquished his duties for this class. I’ll be serving as a substitute instructor until an adequate replacement can be found.”

Nyota just opens and then closes her mouth again, unsure of how to respond.

Commander Viroha turns to the now almost full auditorium and addresses the class. “Take your seats, cadets. We have a lot to cover today.”

Nyota feels numb as choses an empty seat in the front of the room. _Relinquished._ She doesn’t know what that means exactly. It’s not unheard of for professors to be replaced due to unexpected deployments or schedule changes, but she’s never known anyone who has relinquished a class.

A thread of fear and shame starts to bubble up within her. Did the Commander decide to do this because of what happened between them?

She doesn’t know, but she’s going to her best to find out.


	2. theris-masu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Before we start whatever this is…” Nyota pauses and fiddles with the skin of her thumb. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Do you know what happened between us?"
> 
> His expression is blank when he responds. “I am aware.”

The walk to the Commander's office is long and cold. The air conditioning in the communications building is on full blast and Nyota doesn't see any other cadets as she trudges down the narrow hallway.

When she reaches his door, she stops abruptly. It’s locked and the lights are off inside the office. She leans forward slightly and peers through the small window in the door. Her breath fogs the glass and she leans back after a sharp inhale.

It's empty.

His normal artwork and books have been removed. The whole office is bare, except for a standard issue desk and two chairs.

Nyota clenches her fist and lightly kicks the front of the office door with the toe of her boot.

She turns and storms down the still empty hallway. “This is getting ridiculous.”

***

Nyota tells Gaila the truth about her soulmate after a few days of non-stop pestering. The conversation finally happens in their dorm room, after Nyota accidentally slips up and refers to him as “the Comm–”.

It feels good to talk to someone else about the incredibly strange thing that just happened to her, but Nyota still can’t quite wrap her head around the situation. "There’s no other explanation of what happened, but he's Vulcan. It shouldn’t be possible.”

Gaila stares at her from across the room for a brief second before her eyes widen. “Wait… Isn't his father the ambassador, the one who married a human?”

Nyota looks up from the pad in her hands and makes eye contact with her roommate. “What? How do you know that?”

Gaila covers her mouth with one green hand and starts laughing. The tiny dorm bed seems to shake along with her frame. “They made all us non-terrans go to this mixer one time, he was a guest speaker.”

Nyota wants to throw her pillow at her. “Did you not think to tell me this?”

Gaila lays back and kicks her legs into the air. “I didn't know he was your soulmate!”

Nyota just rubs the palms of her hands over her eyes and lets out a breath. “Well, that explains it.”

***

Nyota relentlessly stares at the screen of her comm. Maybe if she stares at it long enough she won’t have to do what she knows needs to happen. After a few more seconds of procrastinating, she hits the dreaded call button and brings the device to her ear.

“Hi, Commander. It’s Nyota Uhura… from Advanced Morphology.” Nyota pauses and bites the end of her thumbnail. “I think you know why I’m calling, and I think you know that we need to talk about this.”

Nyota sits down at the edge of her cramped twin bed and takes a shaky breath. “Please call me back when you can. Or come find me in the library, I’m there most days.”

Nyota presses the end call button with more confidence than she currently possesses. She tucks her comm into the side of her backpack and does her best not to stare at it incessantly.

The tell tale chirping sound of a new message never comes. On the third day without a response, Nyota gets fed up.

“The absolute gall he has, it’s egregious.” Nyota stomps one of her boots on the ground and she works to tie up her long hair. Gaila is watching her from her bed, fingers quickly typing on her pad.

Gaila shrugs in response. “You should just show up to his quarters.”

Nyota nearly snorts. “I would, but I don’t know where they are.”

Professors and other commissioned officers are housed off of the main campus, away from the neverending rush of stressed out cadets. Nyota has only passed by their apartments a few times in all her years at the Academy.

“Well, I can fix that.” Gaila says, as she shifts into an upright position.

Nyota turns to look at the Orion. “Really?”

Gaila nods once and taps the screen of her pad overdramatically. “That’s… what do you say? Easy squeezy—”

“Easy peasy.” Nyota finishes fixing her ponytail and smooths her hands over the sides of her straightened hair. “Don’t do anything illegal.”

Gaila’s prowess with computers scares her sometimes, but maybe this plan will work. The Commander can’t hide from her forever.

“Oh I won't, just give me a minute.” Gaila bounces slightly on the bed and a worrisome expression crosses her face. She breaks out in a wide grin and meets Nyota’s eyes in the mirror. “He’s in 42D over near Hendrick on the western block.”

Nyota let’s out a deep breath. “Really?”

Gaila nods vigorously and gets up off the bed. She wraps Nyota in a tight hug. “Really.”

“You’re the best.” Nyota taps her head against Gaila’s softly. She really hopes he doesn’t try to court marshall her.

Gaila lets her go and starts fiddling with a pair of Nyota’s earrings on the dresser. “I know.”

They’re silent for a few moments before Nyota starts to speak. “What if he doesn’t like me.”

It’s a ugly thought, but one that has been plaguing her for the last few days. It would explain so much – why he won’t answer her calls and why he suddenly dropped Advanced Morphology. Maybe he doesn’t think she’s good enough. Or maybe he doesn’t feel what she feels. The possibility that this may be entirely one sided is almost too much to bear. She scratches her nail against the black paint of her dresser and continues. “What if he’s ignoring me on purpose and wants nothing to do with me.”

Gaila squeezes her upper arm with her freehand. “Then he’s dumb and he didn’t deserve you in the first place.”

***

Nyota lasts three days. The headaches are what finally breaks her. They're truly awful, head-splitting things that leave her trapped under the covers. She ends up missing two classes back to back, which sends Gaila into a fit. Her roommate makes Bones come check on her immediately after Nyota says she can’t make it to Interstellar Navigation.

It's understandable. Nyota has never missed a class before. She'd be worried too.

Bones is unsurprised by her state. Prolonged physical separation in the early stages of bonding can apparently cause all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. After a hypo for the pain and a lot of grumbling, he tells her to get her head out of her ass and go talk to her soulmate.

So, Nyota is doing just that.

The quad is silent as she crosses it slowly, eyes fixed on her black boots. It's quite dark out, with only the faint glow of yellow street lamps lighting her way. The dark is almost comforting. It's like a blanket, hiding her from judging eyes and obscuring the uncontrollable shake in her hands.

She takes a left turn and starts down the path to the officers' apartment. It's incredibly stupid, what she's about to do.

He could run away. Or maybe slam the door in her face. Any number of horrible possibilities await her.

When she arrives at his apartment, it takes her nearly thirty seconds to pluck up the courage to press his buzzer.

He opens it moments after her fingers make contact, almost as if he was waiting by the door.

They look at each other in silence for a few seconds. The Commander has slight bags under his eyes and his skin seems to have turned a shade of pale green. The front of his black instructor’s uniform is also slightly wrinkled. She probably doesn't look much better.

“Hi.” Nyota hopes her voice sounds confident, more assured than she currently feels.

He dips his head, his gaze aimed at the ground in front of her feet. “Hello.”

The deep tenor of his voice does something to her, something she tries desperately to ignore. She needs to focus. “Can I come in?”

He nods once and moves to the side.

Nyota takes one tentative step into his apartment and a wave of heat washes over her. She immediately shrugs off her thin jacket and he takes it from her wordlessly, careful not to accidentally brush the skin of her hand.

They look at each other again once he's done hanging her coat on a hook by the door. She somehow forgot how tall he is in the few days since their last meeting. She has to crick her neck back to match his gaze, which he quickly averts away from her.

“Would you like tea?” The Commander is still not looking directly at her, but he’s outstretched his hand in the direction of his small kitchen.

“I–” Nyota starts to speak then stops and changes her mind. She closes her mouth and gives him a tentative smile. “Uh, yes, thank you.”

His apartment is fairly large and well decorated. Large prints of sprawling Vulcan script dot his walls, and there’s even a couple paintings of desert landscapes scattered about the space. There’s also a _ka'athyra_ perched in the corner of the living room. She has to stop herself from walking over and running her fingers against the wood.

The Commander prepares their tea quickly and sets their two mugs down on the small kitchen table. Nyota couldn’t quite read the label on the box of tea bags from her stance by the door, but she thinks it might have been in Vulcan. She shuffles forward to take the seat closest to her and tries to calm her breathing.

The Commander’s eyes flick to her face for a brief moment before he sits down in the chair across from her. His normally graceful movements are stiffer than she remembers and his back is ramrod straight as he takes a sip from his mug. She hopes he’s also nervous about this conversation.

Nyota takes a small sip of her tea and wraps her hands around the warm porcelain. It’s surprisingly good – spicy, but also a little sweet, with a hint of something fruity that she doesn’t quite recognize.

“Before we start whatever this is…” Nyota pauses and fiddles with the skin of her thumb. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Do you know what happened between us?"

His expression is blank when he responds. “I am aware.”

“Alright.” Nyota doesn’t quite know what to make of his tone, but she forges on ahead. “You should realize the repercussions of this then.”

The Commander takes another sip and nods his head once. “I do.”

There’s a few moments of uncomfortable silence between them. “Right.”

Nyota crosses her legs and smooths her free hand down the side of her hair. “Look, I get that this situation is dreadful for the both of us… and completely unexpected, but we need to be able to talk to each other.”

The Commander opens his mouth then closes it again. A muscle in his jaw flexes. “I apologize for my reticence to contact you thus far.”

Nyota just stares at him, waiting for him to go on.

“I have found it difficult to fully accept the reality of this situation.” He presses his lips into a firm line before continuing. “I did not expect this to happen.”

Nyota nods, relieved that his lack of contact was not related to her identity. “It's fine. I understand.”

They drink their tea in silence for a few minutes, while desperately trying to avoid eye contact across the table.

It really must have been quite a shock to him, she muses. He probably grew up thinking that he didn’t have a soulmate. Then she had to show up and mess with all his plans.

Nyota finishes the last of her tea and sets her mug down on the kitchen table with a little more force than necessary. “Well, we need to work together. And I want to get rid of this damn headache, it's starting to impact my coursework.”

The Commander nods. “Of course. What do you suggest?”

Nyota lets out a small laugh. His head tilts slightly to the side as he watches her. “We need to spend time together.”

His eyes widen slightly and she can see him swallow.

“I don't want to pressure you into anything that you're not comfortable with,” Nyota says, as she studies the way his knuckles have turned white from gripping his mug. “And don’t worry, I'm not looking for a soulmate right now.”

His dark gaze meets hers and her breath catches in her throat. “You are not?”

“No, I'm way too busy with my classes.” Nyota pauses, shifting slightly in her seat. “All that...will just get in the way.”

“I see.”

The warm air in his apartment suddenly feels smothering. She wishes she had worn shorts.

“I think we should start small. Coffee maybe.” Nyota sees the corner of his lips twitch downwards, ever so slightly. “Or more tea.”

“That would be acceptable.” The Commander stands abruptly and takes their empty glasses in hand. He carries them over to his kitchen sink and proceeds to wash and dry the mugs without looking in her direction.

That’s progress, she guesses. Bones said that any proximity would help with the physical symptoms. Not to mention the restlessness.

Nyota watches him work from across the room. “Do Friday mornings work for you?

His back is turned to her when he responds. “They do.”

She stands and smooths her palms over the fabric of her red cadet’s uniform. “Great, see you then.”

She’s already halfway to the door when he calls out to her. “Cadet Uhura, wait–”

She turns and finds him staring at her, a hint of something that she can’t quite decipher in his eyes. “Where will we be meeting?”

Nyota smiles, just barely, and she sees something relax in his expression. “I figured here is as good a place as any, isn't it?

He nods and clasps his hands together behind his back. “It is.”

Nyota grabs her coat off the hook by the door and puts it on as quickly as she can. “Oh, and Commander?”

He takes a few steps toward her then stops, eyes roaming over her face. “Yes?”

“You really shouldn't be calling me cadet anymore.”

He raises one dark eyebrow in her direction, then stiffly nods. “Goodnight, Nyota.”

She grins at him in response, before stepping out his door and into the night. “Goodnight, Spock.”


	3. to'ovak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s so weird.” Nyota pauses and scans her eyes over the crowd. When she doesn’t spot a set of familiar pointed ears, she sets her plate down and takes a seat. “Half the time he looks like he’s about to get up and sprint out of the room.”
> 
> Gaila watches her with narrowed eyes, some of the jello already smeared across her face haphazardly. It’s almost indistinguishable from her green skin. “So when are you going to sleep with him?”

“Have you been enjoying your courses?” Spock asks, his steaming cup of tea held tightly in his hand.

Nyota is perched on the edge of her seat at Spock’s kitchen table, legs crossed and feet tucked under her thighs. It's Friday morning, the first day of their little soulmate experiment.

“They’ve been fine. I’m taking Intermediate Cardassian, Interstellar Navigation, Advanced Tactical Training, Stellar Cartography, and…” Nyota pauses and fiddles with the edge of her mug. “Advanced Morphology, which you already know.”

Spock nods his head once and takes a sip of his tea. They sit in silence for a few seconds before Nyota works up the nerve to address the elephant in the room.

“We all miss you, you know. In Advanced Morphology.” Nyota shifts her gaze to study the long lines of his face. She swears she sees the corner of his mouth twitch upwards, just barely. “Commander Viroha is a bit of a bore.”

“I apologize for my abrupt departure from the course.” Spock opens his mouth then closes it again. It’s an uncharacteristically nervous gesture. “I determined that it would be inappropriate for me to continue as your instructor under these circumstances.”

Nyota giggles softly at his understatement and Spock glances at her curiously. “I understand. That’s very responsible of you.”

Spock doesn’t say anything in response, but he seems to have leaned forward in his seat, shifting almost imperceptibly closer to her. His posture has relaxed somewhat on their second meeting. It's softer, less robotic somehow.

Or maybe she’s just imagining things.

Sitting across from him, Nyota feels more relaxed than she has in ages. His apartment is stiflingly warm and her head is finally clear after nearly a week of dull, thudding headaches. Nyota has to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, like she did on that fateful day a few weeks ago. She just squeezes the top of her thigh instead.

“Can I ask you a question?” Nyota asks after another somewhat awkward silence. She can feel her heart start to race at the thought of what she’s about to say, but she forges ahead anyway.

“Of course.” Spock responds. He takes a slow sip of his tea and stares in her direction. Something in his gaze makes her want to look away. It has a new intensity to it, she decides after a moment.

Nyota realizes that she’s leaned across the table towards him in the last few minutes and she abruptly straightens her posture. She squeezes the side of her cup and sneaks a look at his face. It’s frustratingly blank. “What were you thinking… when you found out it was me?”

Spock adjusts himself in his seat slightly.

“I was surprised—” He shifts his gaze to the table in front of her. “I had previously concluded that I did not have a soulmate.”

Nyota nods once. That makes sense, especially if he spent most of his childhood on Vulcan. All of this nonsense must feel quite alien to him. “That must have been quite a shock.”

Spock’s lip twitches again and he meets her gaze for a moment. “It was.”

They’re silent for a few seconds.

Nyota runs her hand down the side of her ponytail, trying to tame any loose strands of hair. “Can I ask you another question?”

The Commander nods again, eyes still roaming over her face. His scrutiny should feel unsettling, but it surprisingly doesn’t.

Nyota takes a moment to study his features. He really is quite handsome, she almost hates to admit it. She likes the strong cut of his jaw and his high, distinguished cheekbones. Although the standard issue Vulcan haircut could use some work. He certainly has a severe face. Statuesque, even. But she can’t help but wonder what he looks like when he smiles.

Nyota realizes that she’s been staring for longer than is socially acceptable and turns to look at her almost empty cup of tea. “Did your mother have a soulmate, before she married your father?”

It’s something she’d been curious about ever since they got into this mess. It’s not unheard of for people to date, or even marry, people that are not their soulmate. It’s definitely unusual though.

Spock doesn’t respond immediately. He must not have realized that she was aware of his specific background. Nyota almost feels guilty for a moment, but it is all public knowledge. His father is the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, after all.

"She did.” He stops and a muscle clenches in his jaw. “He died in a shuttle accident, shortly after their first meeting.”

Nyota inhales sharply, unsure of how to respond. The death of a soulmate is one of the worst tragedies a person can experience.

Spock’s face is still unreadable. “I do not believe she has ever fully recovered.”

Nyota wants to comfort him somehow, but she’s not sure he would want that. All of this is still too new. She doesn’t want to ruin the precarious relationship that is burgeoning between them.

Nyota laces her fingers together on the tabletop and watches his face. “That must have been devastating.”

“My mother has become… resentful towards the reality of soulmates in the years since his passing.” To her surprise, Spock continues speaking, words tumbling from his mouth in a rush. “I believe the lack of control is difficult for her to accept. She had hoped that I would not be subjected to the same experience.”

Nyota tries not to become self-conscious at his words. She reminds herself that his issue is not with her specifically, just the ridiculous soulmate business as a whole.

Something in her expression must have shifted because the Commander suddenly angles his body so he can look directly at her.

“I did not mean to imply that our situation is in any way disagreeable.” Spock clenches his hand into a fist and she can see the white of his knuckles. “I think very highly of you. You are an accomplished communications student and promising young officer.”

Nyota opens her mouth, perhaps from shock. His unexpected words are almost sweet, in an odd, overly formal kind of way. A smile settles on her lips and she looks up at him. “Thank you. I think highly of you too.”

He nods and they slip into a comfortable silence, both unwilling to venture onto more potentially uncomfortable topics. Nyota taps her foot absentmindedly for a few minutes before drinking the last sip from her mug. She sets the dish down on the kitchen table with a bit more force than necessary.

“Can we go somewhere else next week? Maybe a coffee shop?” Nyota asks it without really thinking, even though she was the one to suggest his apartment as a meeting place in the first place.

After their conversation today, she thinks that it’s just a little too intimate for where they’re at right now. A public place might reduce some of the nervous tension that runs between them. And help her stamp down the incessant urge to press her skin to his.

“I am amenable.” Spock reaches for her cup with a steady hand, before standing and carrying the dirty dishes to the sink.

“Great, that’s great.” Nyota also stands and smooths her sweaty palms over the skirt of her uniform. “Meet me on the corner of 1st and 3rd at the same time next week, there’s a place I think you’ll like.”

***

Nyota expected her life to be different, now that she’d found her soulmate. But nothing has really changed. She goes to class, studies, eats in the mess with Gaila. Her usual, boring routine.

This whole experience isn’t quite what she imagined. It's far from the fairytale-like fantasies that she entertained as a child. Her soulmate isn’t some handsome knight sent to sweep her off her feet. But Nyota can't bring herself to wish it was any different.

Spock is… well Spock. But he’s kind. And brilliant. And hopefully won’t get in her way.

That’s better than she could ever hope for in some random human soulmate.

Despite the initial bumps, they seem to be getting along alright. Nyota tries to stamp down the rush of anxiety that flows through her whenever she thinks about their future—whether or not they’ll ever act like _real_ soulmates. Two people who love each other. Who spend the rest of their lives together. Not whatever quid pro quo platonic relationship they’re currently embarking on.

Nyota wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but a small, increasingly incessant part of her hopes they will.

It would be nice, she supposes. To see him like that. But she has too much to worry about now to even think of the possibility.

Nyota’s mother and father were a classic love story. Two soulmates who met in their first year of their undergraduate degree in Nairobi, after brushing hands in an Introduction to Political Science class. They’ve been inseparable ever since.

In her weaker moments, she can't help but be jealous of what they have.

***

The mess hall is bustling when they walk through the automatic front doors. A sea of red-uniformed cadets sprawl out amongst countless tables and Nyota and Gaila weave their way through them in the direction of the serving stations.

The two roommates come to a stop in front of the salad bar. Nyota does her best to pick out some fresh lettuce and vegetables, while Gaila piles a plate high with obnoxiously green-colored jello.

Nyota just shakes her head and walks towards the dressings. So much for only photosynthesizing, she muses.

Gaila joins her after she hunts down a few marshmallows from god-knows-where. “So, what’s his apartment like?”

Gaila bumps Nyota’s hip with hers and pops a bite of her monstrosity into her mouth. “No, wait let me guess, completely empty except for his desk?”

Nyota scoffs and finishes pouring her vinaigrette. Gaila knows she went to Spock’s apartment the other night, but she hasn’t given her any real details yet. Despite her constant prying. “You’re not far off, but he does have some art hanging on the wall.”

Gaila nods and they walk in silence towards an empty table across the room.

“It’s so weird.” Nyota pauses and scans her eyes over the crowd. When she doesn’t spot a set of familiar pointed ears, she sets her plate down and takes a seat. “Half the time he looks like he’s about to get up and sprint out of the room.”

Gaila watches her with narrowed eyes, some of the jello already smeared across her face haphazardly. It’s almost indistinguishable from her green skin. “So when are you going to sleep with him?”

Nyota nearly spits out a piece of lettuce. “Gaila!”

Gaila snickers and takes another huge bite. “What, he’s your soulmate. It’s only a matter of time.”

Nyota’s eyes scan over the nearby tables. Luckily, nobody seems to have heard them. “We’re not really like that. We just talk. And drink tea.”

Gaila makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a scoff. “Sure.”

“I’m serious.” Nyota wishes her hair was down so it could hide the blush rising on her cheeks.

“Nyota he’s your soulmate, you’ll be juggling his bones by the end of the month.”

Nyota kicks her roommate under the table. The Orion jolts in her seat and starts to glower at her. She would look more intimidating if she wasn’t covered in jello. “It’s jumping.”

“What?”

Nyota can’t help but smile in Gaila’s direction. “It’s jumping his bones, not juggling.”

Gaila shrugs and scrapes the last of her marshmallow-jello into her spoon. “Same difference.”

“It’s definitely not.” Nyota takes another bite of her salad. It feels inappropriate somehow, to talk about this. Even though she knows that they’re discussing her literal soulmate.

Gaila holds up a single green finger to her lips. “Shh— I am right and you know it.”

Nyota grumbles in response and tries to clear the subject from her mind. Something in her brain must be broken though, because she can’t help muttering a quiet “I hope so.”

Gaila doesn’t miss a beat. “Excuse me, what was that?”

Nyota stiffens in her seat and glues her eyes to her plate. “Nothing… It was nothing.”

Gaila just squints at her suspiciously, a small smile slowly growing on her face.


	4. katravahsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you have a preferred starship assignment?”
> 
> “The Enterprise, of course. Same as all the third-year cadets.” Nyota has been dreaming of serving on the new flagship since her first day at the Academy. 
> 
> Spock has become rigid across from her and his hand flexes almost nervously against his ceramic cup. “I have been commissioned as the first officer of the Enterprise.”
> 
> It takes a second for what he just said to sink in. When it does, she opens her mouth, then closes it again. The rumors must have been true. “Well, that’s convenient.”

The weather in San Francisco is unusually cold for a mid-October day – just how Nyota likes it. She’s wrapped herself up with two sweaters and has donned fuzzy socks under her standard issue black cadet boots. Nyota has arrived nearly fifteen minutes early to her and Gaila’s favorite coffee shop near campus. Her nerves propelled her out of bed a whole hour before her normal alarm this morning and her roommate finally got tired of her incessant pacing around their dorm room and kicked her out.

Nyota doesn’t mind though. The cold air is doing wonders to clear her head.

She really shouldn’t be nervous. Spock has been a perfect gentleman throughout this entire confusing, unexpected process. And the agreement they’ve settled on seems to be working for the both of them. Her headaches haven’t come back and she can fully focus on her classes. The fact that a certain half-Vulcan Commander has started to frequent her dreams is a slightly embarrassing, but manageable side effect of their situation.

Nyota will do everything in her power to make their relationship work. She has too much at stake to not try her hardest. She can only hope that Spock feels the same.

“Nyota?”

Nyota spins on her heel and sees the Commander watching her from the edge of the narrow sidewalk. He’s more bundled up than she’s ever seen him with black gloves covering his hands and an extra layer over his instructor’s uniform. His cheeks are tinged a light green from the chill and Nyota can’t help but smile up at him.

“Chilly?” Nyota asks, as she takes a few steps and reaches to open the café door. There’s only a few customers inside this early in the morning.

“I am fine.” Spock follows closely behind her. Despite his words, she sees his shoulders relax when the blast of warm air from the heating system washes over them.

“Sure.” Nyota laughs quietly and takes off one of her sweaters and tucks it under her arm. “It took me a while to get used to the cold too.”

Spock nods once and they fall in line behind an Tellurite couple at the café counter. Nyota studies the menu idly.

“Your hometown is Nairobi, correct?”

“That’s right.” Nyota squints her eyes and studies his face for a moment. “Did you look me up?”

Spock has the good decency to look a bit sheepish. “I did.”

On impulse, Nyota reaches out and pokes his arm in annoyance. His eyes widen slightly at the contact. When she realizes the significance of what she just did, she yanks her arm back and forces her gaze forward to the menu board. That’s the first time they’ve touched since _the incident_ , even if there were a few layers of clothes between them this time.

“Well, I can’t blame you. I’d probably do the same thing if I had the access.” Nyota sneaks a glance at his face and finds a slightly bemused expression. No harm done, thankfully.

The Tellurites in front of them complete their order and Spock and Nyota step forward. The woman at the counter looks at them blankly and asks, “What can I get you?”

“I’ll have a chai latte, please. Replicated milk is fine.” Nyota hands over her credit chip without looking in Spock’s direction. She’d rather pay separately, at least for now.

The woman takes the chip quickly and turns to Spock. “And for you?”

“I will have the same.”

Nyota steps aside and watches as Spock reaches into his pocket and pays for his beverage. She’s only ever seen him drink his fancy Vulcan tea brands. Nyota wonders if he actually enjoys chai, or if he just thought it would be easier to order what she’s having.

When Spock completes the transaction, they start wading through the expanse of empty tables in front of them. Nyota finally picks one near the windows and sits down, placing her extra sweater on one of the chairs nearby. Early morning autumn light filters through the panes of glass above them and onto the tabletop. It’s beautiful, Nyota thinks to herself. She’s glad she asked Spock to come here with her.

Spock takes a seat on the opposite side of the small table, his movements seemingly stiffer than when they’re alone in his apartment.

Nyota scans the room and luckily doesn’t recognize any of the other patrons. She doesn’t know if she could handle any probing questions from fellow cadets at the moment. A cadet having tea with a professor off campus isn’t unheard of per se, but it might raise a few unwanted eyebrows.

Spock is the first to break the silence. “How was your week?”

Nyota smiles at him and shifts in her seat. “Good. It was good. I had a Cardassian exam on Tuesday and a paper for Brannon’s class due today.”

“For Stellar Cartography?” Spock turns his head and grabs their drinks from the barista after she carries them to their table. He sets hers down carefully in front of her. Nyota tries not to stare too long at the graceful line of his fingers.

Nyota nods and wraps her hands around her mug. The liquid inside is too hot to drink, judging by the visible steam emanating into the air.

“I have heard that she is an excellent instructor.” Spock takes a careful sip of his latte and the slightest hint of a frown appears on his face.

“No good?” Nyota smiles and crosses her legs under the table. He definitely thought it was easier to copy her, she muses.

“It is acceptable.” Spock meets her gaze and takes a larger sip. The frown is still there when he sets his mug against the tabletop. He’s always so stubborn.

“They have other things you can try, you know.” Nyota takes a slow sip of her drink. It burns her tongue slightly at first, but she keeps going. The blend of warm spices and milk tastes just as good as she remembers. “I think they might even have a few Vulcan options if you ask.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

A few cadets bustle inside the café and a rush of cold air sweeps over them. Nyota studies their faces quickly and sighs in relief when she doesn’t recognize anyone. She looks over at Spock and watches him stare at his drink for a few seconds.

“Can I ask you another personal question?” Nyota grips the edge of her cup tightly and tries to gauge his reaction. He just nods at her, dark eyes roaming over her face.

Without her realizing, she slips into Vulcan. _“Nam-tor du tel-tor?” Are you bonded?_

His eyes widen slightly and a muscle in his jaw flexes. Nyota realizes that he’s probably never heard her speak Vulcan before. It just felt right in the moment, when asking such an invasive question.

 _“Rai, nash-veh ri.” No, I am not._ Spock shifts in his seat, straightening his spine. His voice sounds deeper somehow, when he speaks in his native language. And his speech has lost its usual slow, almost stilted quality. Nyota angles her neck backwards to watch his face.

Something in her expression must look relieved because the Commander continues after a second, this time in Standard.

“My bondmate and I dissolved our relationship as a result of my responsibilities as a Starfleet officer.” Spock pauses and links his fingers together in front of him. “She was not willing to live as a civilian on a Federation starship... and I was not willing to terminate my commission.”

Nyota let’s out a breath and resists the familiar urge to grab his hand across the table. “That must have been very difficult.”

From what Nyota has learned in her time as a diplomat’s child, Vulcans routinely form arranged marital bonds as children. She imagines that breaking off an engagement of that significance must be very rare. A part of her is deeply relieved though, since his lack of a bondmate makes their situation that much easier.

“It is of no consequence.” Spock takes another sip and something in his posture relaxes. “I did not know you spoke Vulcan.”

Nyota grins at him. “I picked it up a few years ago, with the help of a family friend from _T’Paal_.”

Spock lifts one eyebrow. “Your pronunciation is highly proficient.”

“Thank you.” Nyota smiles even wider at the Commander. “You’re from _Shi’Kahr_ , right? I thought I could tell from your accent.”

“That is correct.” Spock leans forward slightly, the heat of his body radiating across the small table. “Do you speak any other languages?”

“I do.” Nyota pauses, unsure if whether or not she should continue.

“May I ask which ones?”

Nyota lists them all quickly and when she finishes, the Commander is just staring at her.

He finally speaks after what feels like minutes. “Truly?”

Nyota nods and tries to will away the blush forming on her cheeks. She scuffs the toe of her boot along the café floor and avoids his gaze. “Comes in handy as a Comms cadet.”

“Do you intend to pursue xenolinguistics as a commissioned officer?” Spock is still looking at her a little funny when Nyota glances at his face. She stares at the broad lines of his chest instead. He really is more muscular than she first gave him credit for.

“That’s the plan.” Nyota relaxes a bit at the question. It’s something she’s been asked countless times before, by family members and commanding officers alike. “I’m hoping to focus on how first contact events shape the syntax and language structure of post-wrap societies.”

“A worthy subject.” Spock takes another sip of his chai latte, his slight frown less apparent this time. Maybe her favorite drink is growing on him. “Do you have a preferred starship assignment?”

“The _Enterprise_ , of course. Same as all the third-year cadets.” Nyota has been dreaming of serving on the new flagship since her first day at the Academy. She knows that the competition for ensign level positions is going incredibly stiff next year, but her grades are impeccable and she’s been near the top of her class in all her tactical and strategic trainings. Plus, her language skills will definitely set her apart from other Communications track cadets.

Spock has become rigid across from her and his hand flexes almost nervously against his ceramic cup. “I have been commissioned as the first officer of the _Enterprise_.”

It takes a second for what he just said to sink in. When it does, she opens her mouth, then closes it again. The rumors must have been true. “Well, that’s convenient.”

The corner of Spock’s lips twitch upward. “It is.”

“Will that be a problem for us and our… involvement?” Nyota hadn’t even thought about the issues surrounding soulmates serving together on a starship crew. She knew it happened, of course, but Starfleet fraternization rules are usually pretty strict. At least between professor and student.

“I believe there is a special dispensation available.” Spock says, voice slightly strained. It is awkward, to talk about their future in this way. A future they had no choice over.

They’re stuck with each other, whether they like it or not.

Nyota just nods in response and keeps sipping on her latte, head spinning with possibilities.

***

Their time at the coffee shop passes surprisingly quickly. Nyota has the chance to interrogate the Commander about all the details of the _USS Enterprise_ , and they manage to avoid accidentally venturing into any heavier topics. When their mugs are finally empty and people start to stream into the coffee shop for the lunch rush, they rise from their chairs and head out the door.

They don’t get very far. A few seconds after Spock and Nyota shuffle out of the warm shop and into the cold street, a large Andorian man in a black instructor’s uniform slaps Spock on the back with a heavy hand. Nyota gasps a little and takes a few steps back from the pair.

It was one of the first rules they learned in their Interspecies Ethics course. Nobody touches Vulcans, especially not in highly visible public places.

“Spock! Long time no see, buddy.” The stranger squeezes both of Spock’s upper arms and breaks out into a wide grin. The white of his teeth matches the color of his short-cropped hair. “How have you been?”

To Nyota’s surprise, the Commander doesn’t step back or otherwise try to extradite himself from the man’s grasp. Instead, he just nods his head and responds, “I have been well.”

Spock’s brevity doesn’t seem to faze him.

“Wonderful.” The Andorian takes a step back, but doesn’t stop smiling. His two blue antennae flick happily atop his head. “Congratulations on the promotion, by the way.”

Spock clasps his hands behind his back and straightens his posture. “Thank you.”

“With any luck, I’ll be up there with you. My interview for chief medical officer is next week.”

One of Spock’s eyebrows raises at that, a look of surprise just barely crossing his face. “You are more than qualified for the position.”

Nyota feels out of place on the sidewalk, perched on the edge of a conservation she’s not sure she should be privy to. A group of cadets suddenly exits the coffee shop and Nyota has to scooch forward to give them space. Her movements seem to draw the attention of Spock’s new companion.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your lovely friend here?” The man smiles at her and Nyota does her best to respond in kind.

“I’m Nyota.” Without thinking, she stabs her right hand out towards him. Luckily, he takes it without any trouble. His blue skin is cold to the touch as he shakes her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’m Puri, an old friend of Spock’s from his days as a cadet.” Puri’s warmth seems genuine and Nyota can already feel herself becoming more relaxed with the situation. “How do you two know each other?”

Spock cuts in before she can respond. “She is my former student.”

Nyota feels something tighten in her chest. She doesn’t know what she would’ve responded if she was forced to speak, but the Commander’s answer does not sit well with her. To describe herself as his former student feels small and inadequate in comparison to the true reality of their relationship.

They are soulmates, through and through. And Nyota wonders why Spock would hide that fact from one of his old friends.

Despite the Commander’s vague answer, Puri seems to read between the lines. He smacks Spock’s shoulder again and glances between the two of them knowingly. “Never knew you had it in you.”

There is an awkward, uncomfortable pause.

“Well, I’ll leave you two kids alone. It was wonderful meeting you, Nyota.” Puri turns towards her, looking absolutely giddy. “Let me know if you ever want to hear any stories about the trouble we got into as cadets, I’ve got loads.”

“It was great to meet you too.” Nyota musters up her most convincing smile and stuffs her restless hands in the pockets of her outer sweater. “And I might have to take you up on that.”

“Please do!” With a laugh, Puri disappears into the coffee shop, leaving Nyota and Spock standing alone on the sidewalk.

They don’t speak for a few seconds.

“He was nice,” she says after taking a deep breath. Nyota looks up at Spock and tries to decipher his expression. It’s frustratingly unreadable.

“Indeed.”

“I’ve got class on main campus in a few minutes, so I’m going to head that way.” Nyota starts backing up in that direction slowly, eager to get out of the chilly afternoon air.

“Would you like company?” Spock takes a few short steps in pursuit of her, but stops when she raises the palm of her hand.

“I’m fine, but thanks for offering.” Nyota feels a slight twinge of regret over rejecting him, but she desperately wants to be alone right now. It will give her the opportunity to process everything that’s happened in the last few hours. And she can try to relieve the slight pain that has been lodged in her chest ever since he implied that she was nothing more than a former student.

Spock’s voice is soft as she turns on her heel and heads down the pathway to her next class. “Of course.”


	5. kastik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you get me a potted plant?”
> 
> “I–” Spock pauses. “Yes, I did.”

As Friday inches closer, Nyota doesn’t contact Spock to set up their next meeting. It isn’t purposeful, she tells herself. Her classes are just too busy at the moment.

It’s not a lie. Midterms are officially here – she’s got two papers due next Monday and three exams to prep for later next week.

Nyota’s just waiting to contact him until she has a better handle on things. That’s all.

If she’s just a tiny bit annoyed with him about what he said to Puri, that’s unrelated.

***

Nyota has her head glued to her pad in the mess hall when she hears Jim call her name from across the crowded room.

Nyota sets her pad down reluctantly and takes a half-hearted bite of her salad. She decided to try beets on it today and is kind of regretting the decision.

Jim slaps his hands down on her table with more force than necessary, a stupid grin plastered on his face. A few cadets glance at them curiously. “You gonna tell me who the lucky person is yet?”

Nyota knew this line of questioning was coming. “Nope.”

Nyota barely knows what’s going on with the Commander herself, she certainly doesn’t need Jim Kirk’s opinion on the matter.

“Seriously?” Jim leans across the table towards her, still grinning ear to ear. He’s enjoying this too much. “After I helped you with your... _predicament_.”

While he was helpful in giving her the kick in the pants she needed to go confront Spock, Nyota doesn’t budge. “You just yelled at me, that's not helping.”

“Is too!” Jim laughs and claps his hands together. The neighboring cadets glance at them again. “You’d still be hiding under the covers if it wasn’t for me.”

Nyota scoffs at that. “I absolutely would not.”

It might’ve taken her a little longer, but she would have convinced herself to face her fears eventually.

“Was the sex at least good?”

Nyota nearly drops her fork. “Excuse me?”

Jim’s smile has grown impossibly wider. Nyota has to resist the urge to strangle him. “You heard me, I barely let Bones out of the bedroom in the first few weeks.”

Nyota can feel her cheeks start to flush and she desperately hopes that the nosey cadets beside them didn’t hear. “That is absolutely none of your concern.”

Jim raises an eyebrow at her. “So it was good.”

Nyota abruptly stands and snatches up her pad and the remains of her salad. “I’m leaving. Goodbye, Kirk!”

The loud sounds of Jim’s laughter follow her as she exits the mess hall as quickly as her legs can carry her.

***

After Nyota’s study spot in the mess hall was ruined by Jim Kirk, she decides to head to the library.

The building is surprisingly empty when she walks through the automatic front doors, even for a Saturday afternoon.

Nyota quickly scales three flights of stairs and settles in at one of her favorite tables. It’s near a big corner window and has a really nice view of campus.

She stays like that, head in her books, for the next couple of hours.

It’s only when she hears a set of quiet footsteps coming her way that she looks up from her notes.

To her surprise, the Commander is at her table. And he looks nervous.

Nyota stretches out the crick in her neck and greets him. “Hey, I didn’t see you there.”

Spock just nods curtly at her. He’s standing funny, with one arm tucked behind his back as if he’s hiding something.

An awkward moment passes.

“I hope my presence here is not inappropriate.”

Nyota smiles up at him at that. “Oh no, you’re fine. Do you want to sit down?”

Spock nods again. “Thank you.”

As Spock sits, he’s careful to still keep the hand behind his back hidden.

Nyota fights the urge to look under the table between them.

Despite her annoyance at his actions last week, she is still happy to see him. Her slight headache from studying is already feeling better.

They’re quiet for a few seconds and Nyota almost turns back to her Cardassian notes.

“I noticed that you did not wish to meet at the café this week.” Spock looks at the table as he says it, expression unreadable.

Nyota fiddles with the skin of her thumb. She has a nasty habit of picking at it when she’s nervous.

“Sorry about that. I’ve just been so busy with midterms coming up.” Nyota stamps down the slight feeling of guilt in her chest. She really should have told him earlier.

Spock’s eyes flick to her face, as if he’s trying to see if she’s telling the whole truth.

Nyota isn’t, of course. But she hopes he can’t see that.

She’s never been a very good liar.

Spock dips his head finally and shifts in his seat. “I understand.”

They sit in silence again, and Nyota can’t help the feeling of restlessness inside her.

Nyota takes a deep breath and pushes her pad off to the side. She straightens her spine, then does something incredibly stupid.

“Actually, that’s not true. I cancelled because I was upset.”

Spock’s eyes widen ever so slightly. He clears his throat and looks back at her face. “I suspected as much.”

Nyota laughs softly. Maybe her behavior wasn’t as inconspicuous as she thought.

Spock lifts his hand from under the table and sets something in front of her.

Nyota leans forward and inspects what looks like a… plant?

The leaves are the wrong color – all deep browns and reds. And it does look rather spikey. But it’s definitely a plant.

Nyota grabs it by it’s tiny decorated container and brings it closer. “Did you get me a potted plant?”

“I–” Spock pauses. “Yes, I did.”

“What for?” Nyota touches one spiked leaf carefully with the tip of her index finger. It’s surprisingly soft. She wonders if it grows on Vulcan.

“It is a tradition of my mother’s.” Spock is studying the plant in her hands carefully, eyes averted from her face.

“To give people plants?” Nyota can’t stop the grin spreading on her face.

“To give gifts.” Spock twines his hands together on the table. “When one has caused offense.”

“Ah.” Nyota twists her gift in her hands. “Well, thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Nyota is daydreaming about where to put her new plant when Spock abruptly interrupts her train of thought.

“I did not mean to purposefully conceal the nature of our relationship to Commander Puri–” Spock stops himself. There’s something new in his expression that she can’t quite place. Something undisciplined. “I am not ashamed of you, Nyota.”

Nyota grips the container in her hands tightly. She didn’t expect this.

“You once said that you were not looking for a soulmate.” A muscle in Spock’s jaw flexes. “In light of that statement, I assumed that you would not be comfortable sharing the full extent of our relationship to a stranger.”

Nyota nods, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off her chest. It’s good to know that what he said wasn't a symptom of embarrassment over her identity.

Spock also looks slightly relieved. “Did I correctly ascertain the nature of your offense?”

“Yes, you did.” Nyota shifts her gaze to the plant in her hands again. It really is cute. “Good guess.”

Nyota picks at the skin of her thumb. “For the record, I don’t mind if you tell people about us.”

“Truly?” Spock is staring at her face now.

Nyota said that silly thing about not wanting a soulmate weeks ago, and that was before she knew anything about Spock as a person. About how kind and decent he is. How patient.

Nyota squeezes the edge of the table with one hand and sits up in her seat. “It’s not like we can do anything about it can we? Might as well let people get used to the idea.”

Spock nods. “That does seem practical.”

When Nyota’s gaze wanders to the corner window, she notices that it’s completely dark outside. It’s way later that she realized.

“I should be heading home.” Nyota stands and gathers all her pads and notebooks into her bag. Spock stands alongside her, hands tucked neatly behind his back.

Nyota reaches for her plant last, cupping it gently in her hand. “You really didn’t have to get this for me.”

Spock looks at her for a moment. “Do you like it?”

“I really do.” Nyota hugs the container closer to her chest, as if to evidence her feelings.

“Then it is of no consequence.”

Nyota takes a tentative step closer to Spock. His whole body freezes, dark eyes watching her carefully. Before she can lose her nerve, Nyota leans up on her tiptoes and places a quick kiss on his cheek.

Nyota immediately drops back down on her heels and starts heading towards the stairs. She turns back to face the Commander when she’s a few feet away. He’s still standing beside the table, as if shell-shocked. “Thank you, Spock.”

He turns to her slightly, and she doesn’t think she imagines the way the corner of his lip twitches upwards. “You’re welcome, Nyota.”

***

When Nyota reaches the door to her dorm room, she can hear loud sounds spilling out into the hallway. Sounds that are suspiciously similar to moans.

“Not again,” she huffs. The door in front of her slides open with a wave of her hand and Nyota is greeted by a tangle of bodies atop her roommate’s bed.

“Seriously, Gaila?” Nyota stomps inside and throws her bag on her mattress. She carefully sets her plant on the nearest dresser. “Computer, lights.”

The lights in the room flick on to full brightness and Nyota’s eyes finally focus on the mess across the dorm.

Gaila is currently being smothered by two male figures, two men who look uncannily like Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy.

“Oh my god.” Nyota covers her mouth with one hand. “ _Oh my god_.”

Gaila escapes from the throng of limbs after a moment and looks at her. “Sorry, Ny. I thought you were going to be at the library until late.”

Jim is just smiling at her from the pile and Bones can’t even look in her direction.

“It is late!” Nyota stomps her foot and snatches her bag back from her bed. She’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. “You’re cleaning the bathroom for the next month.”

“Deal!” Gaila shouts, a smile lighting up her face. “You’re the best roommate ever.”

Jim’s voice radiates from the pile. “Yeah, you’re just the best Uhura.”

“Oh, shut up.” Nyota turns to the door and doesn’t look back.

Her feet carry her quickly towards the elevator. She thinks about what to do next on the ride down.

She doesn’t really want to pull an all-nighter at the library, but she doesn’t have anywhere else to go. That is, unless…

Nyota’s feet carry her in the direction of the officers’ apartments and she desperately tries to squash the tide of anxiety currently rising within her.

***

The Commander answers the door seconds after she knocks. He’s dressed in loose black pants and what looks like a sweater. They’re his pajamas, she realizes suddenly.

Nyota shifts on the balls of her feet, suddenly aware of how intrusive this is. How impolite.

“Nyota?” Spock asks, eyes skimming over her body. They linger on the bag perched on her shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

“Can I crash here tonight?” Nyota pauses. Her heart is beating wildly in her chest. “My roommate is currently… _occupying_ my room and I really don’t want to sleep in the library.”

Spock raises an eyebrow at that. “Of course.”

“Really?” Nyota didn’t expect him to say yes. “You don’t have to, you know. I’ll survive.”

“It is no trouble.” Spock opens his front door wider and motions for her to come inside.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

His apartment looks the same as when she was here two weeks ago. Everything is still aggressively neat, from the pads on his desk to the fresh fruit on his kitchen counters.

Spock takes her coat from her wordlessly and she hangs her bag off the back of one of his kitchen chairs. The silence in the room is deafening.

“Is this a regular occurrence?” Spock walks to the kitchen, to what she now recognizes as the tea cabinet.

“What, kicking me out to have sex?” Nyota regrets her choice of words when she sees Spock’s hand stumble on the box of tea bags. He recovers quickly.

“Yes?” His voice is steady as he replicates some hot water and brings their beverages over to the table.

“Sometimes.” Nyota wraps her hands around the warm mug. “She’s Orion though, so I can’t really blame her.”

“Cadet Gaila?” Spock takes a sip of his drink, eyes watching her face.

Nyota can’t help but laugh. “I see her reputation precedes her.”

“Some of my colleagues in the computer science department are rather intimidated by her.”

Nyota laughs some more. “She’s a force to be reckoned with, that’s for sure.”

Nyota takes a sip of her tea, then pauses. It’s a chai blend, she realizes. He must have bought it for her after their trip to the coffee shop. Nyota smiles into her cup.

They finish their tea quickly, passing the time with small talk about her classes and how construction on the _Enterprise_ is going. It’s easy conversation, and Nyota can tell that they’re both being careful to avoid more sensitive topics.

When their cups are empty and they’ve run out of things to say, Spock stands and grabs their empty dishes. “Would you like to shower?”

Nyota blinks once and stands alongside him. A shower does sound nice after the day she’s had. “That would be great.”

Spock quickly drops their mugs in the sink and motions towards an open doorway. “Follow me.”

Nyota averts her gaze when they enter his bedroom. It still feels improper somehow, even though he is her literal soulmate.

Spock’s bathroom is much larger than the one Nyota and Gaila share. Perks of being a commissioned officer, she muses.

Spock grabs a black towel from out of a small cabinet near the sink and sets it on the counter. “There are both water and sonic settings.”

“No.” Nyota’s jaw nearly drops.

Spock just looks confused. “Pardon?”

“You do not have a real water shower.” Nyota can’t believe her luck. She’s only had access to sonics during all her years at the Academy.

“I can assure you that I do.” Spock looks amused now, eyes crinkling slightly at the corners.

Nyota wants to jump up and down, but she restrains herself. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Spock nods at her once, then leaves her to it.

***

“That was incredible.” Nyota steps out of Spock’s bathroom, towel wrapped about her damp hair. “Good luck getting rid of me now.”

“You are welcome any time.” To her surprise, Spock looks up at her from the right side of his bed. He’s tucked himself under the covers, pad balancing on his lap. It is really getting late, she realizes.

“I borrowed some clothes, I hope you don’t mind.” Nyota debated about it for a long time, but the thought of crawling back into her dirty clothes after her real water shower was simply too much. She’s put on a pair of matching black pajama pants that are way too long on her and an old Academy sweatshirt that reads ‘ _Class of 2223_ ’.

Spock studies her for a moment and Nyota can see him swallow from across the bedroom. “I do not.”

Nyota doesn’t know what to make of the tension that has suddenly entered the room.

“Thanks again for letting me crash here.” Nyota unwraps the towel from her hair and places it on a hook in the bathroom. “It definitely beats the library.”

“Of course.”

Nyota smiles at him and tries to run her fingers through her hair. It’s so tangled that she gives up after a few seconds. “I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

Nyota is about to leave the room when Spock calls out to her. She turns to face him as she stands in the doorway.

“Sorry, what was that?” Nyota asks, unsure if she heard him correctly.

“You may sleep in the bed.” Spock pauses, eyes averted from her. “If you wish.”

Nyota opens her mouth then closes it again. “Really?”

Spock nods at her, his knuckles white against the glass of his pad. “If you would be comfortable.”

It’s not that crazy, she supposes. They are soulmates after all. It’s just a very uncharacteristic offer for a Vulcan.

“If you’re sure it won’t bother you.” Nyota takes a tentative step forward towards the bed. It’s large at least – they won’t have to be squished together.

“It will not.”

His voice doesn’t waver, so she takes the last few steps and slips under the plain gray covers.

Spock turns off his pad and sets it carefully on a nearby nightstand.

Nyota settles herself in the bed and tries not to look at the man laying beside her. The mattress is a little stiffer than she’s used to, but she’s too tired to care at the moment.

“Computer, lights.”

And with that, Spock plunges them into darkness.

Nyota tucks the edge of the comforter under her chin and tries to slow her breathing. Spock lies deathly still across from her. She can feel the heat of his body coming off him in waves.

Nyota curls onto her side and tucks her legs up into a ball. Spock’s breathing is slow and even, but she doesn’t think he’s asleep yet.

Nyota pokes one of his arms quickly, to see if he’s still awake. His bicep is harder than she expected, more muscular.

He doesn’t speak, just shifts his body slightly towards her in a way that indicates that he’s paying attention.

The darkness has her feeling bold. “I’m glad that it was you.”

She doesn’t elaborate further.

His response comes much later, when she’s just on the verge of slipping off to sleep.

“Likewise.”


End file.
